What Not to Wear

I just walked down the hallway and saw a high-low skirt (shudder). This distracted me enough to need to write a second post. Of my top ten PLEASE NEVER EVER WEAR THESE clothes. They're in no particular order, and you're free to disagree, but I haven't seen these clothes work on too many body types.

1. As mentioned above, the high-low skirt. Or dress. Or shirt. The premise is the same as a mullet, for goodness sake! Gross. 

2. Leggings without anything covering your butt/legs down to at least part of your thigh. Can anyone say cameltoe? They also tend to accentuate any imperfection in the legs or butt.

3. SOCKS AND SANDALS. My little sister does this all the time. And it drives me up the wall! If you want your feet to be warm, don't wear sandals!

4. Any underwear that results in the dreaded VPL: Visible Panty Line. always Always ALWAYS check yourself in the mirror before you go out. And don't forget those three positive thoughts!

5. Anything that gives you muffin top, or any indication of poor fit, is a pretty big fashion faux pas. Clothes should not make you feel like a sausage.

6. Black with brown. This color combination is hideous. It's like wearing mud and soil. Unless you're going for understated, I like to pair a fun color with a neutral, because why be boring?

7. Anything made from polyester. Just no.

9. Incredibly pointy shoes. I'm not really a fan of the pointy shoe, I must confess. I know they elongate the leg, which should appeal to me (I have very short legs and a long torso), but I just don't find them aesthetically pleasing. But the really pointy ones are especially ugly.

10. Anything with writing on the butt. Or near the butt. Believe me, anyone who was going to look at your butt will do so regardless. For those of us with pear shapes, hourglasses, or ample curves, we've got enough going on down there that the extra attention is pretty unnecessary. I go out of my way to avoid it.


So those are my no-good-dirty-rotten-top-ten-fashion-faux-pas. Maybe you've had similar thoughts, perhaps not. Or you might disagree altogether on some of them. The great part about fashion is that it's so versatile. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

An Introduction

Hello internet! My name is Kayleen. First off, my credentials: I watch a lot of TLC's What Not to Wear, read quite a bit of fashion magazines, spend way too much time on Pinterest, and really like clothes. No, I am not in any way educated formally in fashion. In fact, I'm in college right now, studying for a biology degree. But that's what makes my blog different. I understand being limited due to price, having very few selections (I live in Alaska), and how there's not always enough time in the day to master that cat eye, curl your hair, make three meals, work, go to all your classes, and still get your homework done. Or maybe you're not a student, but like me, have a time crunch. Juggling kids, a full time job, a smokey eye, and the latest trend sounds overwhelming. That's where I come in. My plan is to introduce some simple tips, link you to helpful sites and videos, and at times, throw in a pun (just because I love them). I'm personally a pear shape, and have the most experience with my body type, hourglass, and apple shapes. If you have questions about other shapes, please don't hesitate to ask!

How about we get started? I work as a Student Assistant on campus, so I have to wear business attire. Today I'm wearing an olive green cowl neck cashmere sweater and black slacks. I always pick out my outfits the night before to minimize my prep time in the morning. I tend to try several outfits on, and that helps me determine how comfy the clothes will be, since at that point in the day, I just want to be in my pjs anyways. Let's break down the outfit:

Green cashmere sweater: I see cashmere in the name, and I think big price tag. I'll admit, I don't know how much this cost. It was a Christmas gift last year. However, I do know that Kohls usually has pretty great sales on this style of cashmere sweater, plus you get Kohls cash if you spend over a certain amount. However, the material of the sweater isn't quite as important as the shape. As a pear, I don't have much up top. So I gravitate towards things that draw attention upwards. If you have pretty generous curves, and want to avoid attention there, a sweetheart, scoop neck, v neck (not too deep), square neck, or wrap sweaters are all great for an hourglass. Think shape and structure. You want to emphasize your waist. However, if you're busty, the best choices are a tasteful v neck, a pullover cardigan, or a deep, wide neckline offers you the most flattering styles. It bears mentioning, though, that you only look your best if you feel great about the way you look. Like many women, I struggle with thinking positively about my body. I have pretty awful thoughts about how I look, how I can't wear this or that, or how I'd look so much better if I just lost 20 pounds. But the truth is that I need to dress my body how it looks right now, and I will not look that great if I'm focusing on the negative. So I want you to think three positive thoughts while you find a sweater that works for your body type. If you love you body, this should be easy. If you struggle, like me, then this will take some work. But you'll get there.

Black slacks: pretty basic, I know. My hard and fast rule is that for someone with big hips (like me), the slacks should skim the widest part, and flow straight down. I generally have to get my slacks a lot longer than I am tall, since stores don't seem to understand that women can be short and curvy. It works out, since I have a penchant for very high heels, however.

Shoes: In a perfect world, I'd be wearing a cute pair of pumps. I'm embarrassed to report that my feet are swathed in thick wool socks, and the only shoes that would accommodate the size of the socks were my XTRA-TUFs. In my defense, it was -17 F yesterday, and I was expecting to need the extra warmth. I love shoes (as my 30+ pairs can attest), but at a certain temperature, practicality has to take over.

I think that's all I've got right now. I had best get back to work. If you have any suggestions, comments, questions, etc, please let me know! Thanks for reading, and look your best!